Right now, I am not exactly sure. Years ago, I lived in Panama, then I moved to Prague and then Budapest for a while. I greatly enjoyed an expat life and it was only near fatal illness that took me back to the US to be closer to family during crisis time. Well, I got better (sort of) and then I got settled and with settled came suburbia and an admittedly cushy but unfulfilling life followed. The suburban house, the working for the sake of working, the Starbucks on every corner. The adventurous soul that used to throw a dart at a map and move where it landed became nervous about ever doing it again, for no real reason. I started talking about buying a house in California and settling in a city I don’t really care for, planning a life I don’t want at all as a method to try to find some kind of happiness in a familiar place. When I began examining what I really want to do with my life, I found that the things I love and enjoy most are in Panama, where I own a home (which I rent out) and have friends who are as close as family. In Panama I am surrounded by challenges daily, in a good way. I just have more of a life in Panama, where everything is a little more raw, and lively, and authentic. So, if that is what I love, then why am I in California? So… my husband and I decided we will move back to Panama. Currently the plan is to leave before August. We have some things to wrap up here. Stuff we own. Stuff. Stuff stuff. I hate that. We own too much crap. It didn’t use to be that way. We owned what we needed and not much else. There is an elegant simplicity in that. Now we have rooms and rooms full of stuff. Just clutter that seems to be a standard American indicator of a too easy life and a sign of soul-depression.
So this blog will be about returning to expat life, the journey, the preparation, the adventures, the problems… It will be brutally honest. It will NOT be politically correct. It will not be apologetic. My opinions are mine and mine alone. My experiences are unique to me and my particular life. Maybe this blog will help a potential expat in decision making. Maybe it will help you decide if Panama, or expat life in general is right for you, or maybe not. Maybe it will offend you. Maybe it will make you laugh. If it helps you in any way, I am happy for that. If you comment to me that you don’t like what I have to say, blah blah blah, you can save your breath because I don’t care. I don’t sanitize my life or my opinions to make others feel more comfortable. But, I do sincerely hope this blog inspires at least one person to simply take a road less traveled, to live the life they truly want and not just follow the status quo. You should know, I cuss a lot. I am a fat American. I’m kind of fabulous, or at least I think I am. I suffer from depression. I like sammiches. Now you know 🙂