If you don’t set goals…

When I was twelve I made my first bucket list. I never knew the term “bucket list” and instead I called it a “wish list” but it was a list of things I wanted to do before I got too old to do them. My expectations in life at that point were shaky. I was diagnosed with epilepsy at age eleven and the seizures were frequent, severe and treatment resistant. At twelve, I had an aneurysm that almost killed me. I was diagnosed with AVM (arterio-venious malformation) at twelve and my view on life was drastically altered. Endovascular coiling (brain surgery, basically) saved my life. I have had two more aneurysms since then, one that ruptured when I was twenty-three and almost killed me… again. So, my views on life expectancy are a bit different than most people’s, I suspect. I do not expect to live past fifty at the most. This number is not something I have any data for. It is simply a realistic “what if” that I have chosen to base my life around. It is less morbid than it sounds. I figure, “expect fifty years and if I get more – bonus!” I don’t live my life moping around, waiting to die. Instead, I try to fill my life with as much as possible, instead of waiting and saying “I can do that later.” There is a damn good chance I can’t do it later. My bucket list at twelve was finished by fifteen.

Since then, I make a list every year or two. While I am preparing for an international move, I feel it is time for an all new list. I don’t just put the big things (“go to Paris” and “zip-line in Costa Rica”) on this list. I make it a point to put the little things on there as well. It is the little experiences that pack emotional impact and create meaning. The list is not ‘resolutions’ and I feel it is important to not think they are. I don’t expect to complete ALL of these things. I do expect to try to do as many as I can, and to feel comfortable changing my mind about some of them, discarding them and generally being fluid in my life choices. My list for next two years will evolve as I move along, and you can follow my progress here:

My Bucket List Online

The website I use is fantastic for keeping detailed lists of plans, goals, dreams and inspiration. I have created a loose list, and not added photos or descriptions yet but I will in the future. 

From my list…

  • See Yosemite in the Spring
  • Move back to Panama
  • Attend a writer’s retreat
  • Get involved with a charity in Panama
  • Take a yoga class 
  • Be in another play at Ancon Theater Guild in Panama
  • Tell my friends how much they mean to me
  • Swim in “Amit’s Lake” again
  • Have one of my art pieces shown in a gallery
  • Attend the “Day Of Reason” rally in Sacramento
  • Learn to make Jumbalaya and serve it with mint juleps 
  • Have a nice going away party before I move
  • Set up and organize my art studio in Panama
  • Take a photography class
  • Organize photography walks
  • Go hiking in Boquete, Panama
  • Learn to make Carimaniolas (Panamanian/Colombian fritters)
  • Go sailing in The Pearl Islands in Panama (on a catamaran, yesssss)
  • Learn to play guitar
  • Sing more often
  • The next time I have the chance to say something biting and snarky… don’t.
  • Redecorate my home in Panama and document the experience here in my blog
  • Have the lovely Elena Nathani-Badrutt take my photo
  • Hike through Parque Metropolitano 
  • Go to archery practice twice a week without missing a session for three months (then continue)
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “If you don’t set goals…

  1. CrazyGuyinThailand

    Thats me. I always forget to set goals 🙂


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